Friday, April 1, 2011

Better Beer Just a Few Blocks from Here...

I went to see Adam Carolla live last night. It was in Pittsburgh's Cultural District, at the Byham Theater, which is a member of Pittsburgh's Cultural Trust. When I go to a comedy show, I expect to have a couple drinks. When it’s at a larger scale place that doesn't have to sell drinks to make money, because ticket prices are ridiculously high, I never really know what to expect. For a glimmering second I actually thought that they might have good, locally brewed beer, as a nice representation of our local beer culture. It made sense, but luckily I only had that thought for about a second. In actuality, I was faced with bottles of Corona, Blue Moon, Miller Lite, Yuengling, and I’m forgetting one, but it’s probably for the best.  At first I considered having a Blue Moon, which I imagine they sell to please the “beer snobs” but I always remember my 21st birthday. I purchased Killian's Irish Red hoping to drink a good Irish beer that wasn't a stout. I realized after the first sip that something was amiss. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I could taste metal, and it just seemed wrong. After a little research, I realized I was tricked by MolsonCoors into buying one of their “craft” beers and what I was tasting was their profit margins and preservatives. I’ll skip my reasons for not liking Miller, but the distain starts somewhere around the spelling of “Lite” and ends with the realization that there is more flavor in Mon River water. I ended up purchasing one $4.75 bottle of Yuengling which the cashier promptly poured into a plastic cup without tilting it, prompting me to bend over the counter and suck the overflowing head off the top before it spilled everywhere and made my cup sticky. What a bummer. Right up the street is the East End Brewery, The Church Brew Works, and the Pennsylvania Brewing Company. All local companies with distribution systems. The Pittsburgh Cultural Trust could easily sell their products.  That isn’t even mentioning the HoffbrÀuhaus, Rivertowne Pour House, or Rock Bottom Brewery, who don’t distribute their beer, but could easily strike some partnership with the Cultural Trust to bring better and culturally significant beer into their venues. In the end I guess they don’t care, or they would at least offer draft beer, which has much larger profit margins than bottled. They probably make enough money off of the “souvenir” sippy cup that you have to pay $3 extra for if you want to take your drink into the theater. If only they would put Carolla back on TV, I would get to laugh at his jokes while drinking good beer on my couch instead of fighting over the center armrest with the guy next to me, thirsty, hot, and cramped. Adam Carolla even joked that when he was on TV there’d be no way in hell he’d come to Pittsburgh on a Thursday night, so it isn’t like he is opposed to the idea. With the rush of pilots being produced for next season, we will once again be stuck with a bunch of crap that isn’t worth watching, but at least I can watch it without having to drink a Blue Moon.

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